“The Difference Between Love and Hate is Understanding”

YesICanBeen listening to a lot of The Rat Pack lately, really enjoying Frank, Dean, and Sammy. Especially Sammy. Reading bios about these legendary performers, too.

And learning a lot.

For example, reading Yes I Can: The Story of Sammy Davis, Jr. this morning I discovered the following…

Setup: Sammy is being interviewed by show host Barry Gray, who is asking him about his conversion to Judaism, prejudice, and racial jokes. The interview took place in the late 1950s, shortly after Sammy’s appearance on Broadway in “Mr Wonderful.”

Sammy says to Barry:

“I was reading a book about Judaism and I came across a statement: ‘The difference between love and hate is understanding.’ That understanding is obstructed by the images which are imbedded in people’s minds.”

A few pages later, Sammy says:

“As awful as violence is, at least it’s out in the open where it can be recognized and handled and eventually it’s ended. But the jokes keep on, quietly, subversively, like a cancer, rotting away the foundations of hope for the Negro, stealing the dignity on which we can build respected lives.

“And as bad as the jokes, are the words— the put-down words like ‘nigger,’ ‘kike,’ ‘chink,’ ‘wop,’ ‘spick.’ I hear them used between buddies, good-naturedly, but anyone who thinks he’s above prejudice, so he can use them affectionately or humorously is missing the point: If a person sincerely desires to stamp out a sickness he can’t keep a few of its germs alive just for laughs. Before we can reach a Utopia in human relations those jokes and those words and the legends which they perpetuate must die. “You can pass legislation for desegregation, but you can’t legislate people’s minds and that’s where the progress must finally be made, in people’s minds and in their hearts.”

“How Do I Know God Exists? Try And Build An Ant.” – Kevin Matthews

KevinAIn May, 2013, The Only Love Project’s Bill Murphy (BM) spent an hour over coffee in the home of legendary radio personality Kevin Matthews (KM) experiencing a conversation that Kevin later called “a ceremony, a prayer.” You’re welcome to eavesdrop. Enjoy!

BM: Briefly tell us your background. What would you want others to know about you?

KM: Oh, that’s a long question. I’m alive, living on earth, you know. I just have been blessed with a lot of good things – good family, two kids, a granddaughter, a wife…so good things.

BM: What has been your background, professionally?

KM: Entertainment. Radio entertainment. But that’s the past. What’s going on in the future, and what’s going on now, is what’s important.

BM: Would you consider yourself a spiritual person?

KM: Well, you know it’s almost, like, Why are you here? Are you a spiritual person?

BM: Yes.

KM: How’s your health?

BM: Good. [laughs]

KM: You want to write a book, do you?

BM: Yeah. [laughs]

KM: I love to talk to you. You’re here for a reason. Why did you come here? Do you pray? If you do, I think a lot of your prayers are being answered, and you gotta realize what’s in front of you, with all of the things you’re doing right now. I mean, you’re taking pictures, you’re recording this, you’re changing a lot of dynamic in your life. You’re changing a lot of things. My Native grandma once told me that if you turn a stone, you change the universe. So think of what you’re here, taking pictures, recording, you’re changing things. And I think there’s no such thing as coincidence. You were supposed to be here, I was supposed to be here. And I just kept thinking this morning, “Why are you coming here?” You’re meeting people who you’re supposed to meet. We talked about Tim [Cusack], and Tim calls [he actually did during the interview with Kevin]. I think a lot of times people pray for things, and it comes right to them, and they don’t even see that the prayer’s being answered.

BM: Most religious traditions speak of the power and value of love. For example, the Dhammapada, from the Buddhist tradition, tells us “only love dispels hate.” The Bible tells us, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, Continue reading

Book Recommendation: Me, Too

MeTooJust finished a delightful book called Me, Too: Extraordinary, Everyday Stories That Connect Us, by Tim Cusack. Tim, a popular motivational speaker, actor, and natural-born raconteur, draws from his lifetime of experiences and observations to create a book that couldn’t be put down — and, in fact, wasn’t. It was devoured in less than 24 hours.These stories are captivating, heartwarming, and humorous — sort of like Paul Harvey meets Chicken Soup For the Soul…with a smidgeon of Garrison Keillor, Jerry Seinfeld, and the Dalai Lama added for good measure.The overarching theme of Me, Too is compassion, and how we’re all connected by the common bond of humanity. So it’s a perfect fit for those who believe in the power of love.

“Why don’t you treat others like you would like others to treat you?” – Willie Harris

On May 17, 2013, Willie Harris (WH) graciously spent time with The Only Love Project’s Bill Murphy (BM) to discuss his views on love, compassion, and how people can increase both. This is the transcript of their conversation.

BM: Briefly tell us your background. What would you like others to know about you?

Studio_for_print_10WH: Well, such a complicated question. Simplistic but complicated. What would I like people to know about me? I’m a personal trainer. I have roughly around 26, 27 years in the business of exercise physiology. My love for the weight room happened quite accidentally. I was a basketball player and ended up injuring my knee, and the strength and fitness coach pushed me to the weight room. And from there, just the sheer energy that, I used to walk into the weight room, it was like a burst of energy going on in the weight room all the time. It became part of my fabric. It’s quite addictive. So that was my introduction into exercise physiology. What would I like people to know about me? I mean, that’s all a great quarter of my life, but it’s not actually everything about my life. I think as we’re going through our youth, the energetic phase of our lives, we have that sense of invincibility about us and we think that the world pretty much is conquerable, by our own hands. But you know, as you mature the events that happen in your life and the experiences you have teach you the value of just how precious life is. I think I have a pretty well balanced approach to my expectations out of life.

BM: Would you consider yourself a spiritual person?

WH: Very much so. Very much so. I think that man is much more than just body. We are too complex of a creation, too complex of a human being. We live in this very, very complex ecosystem to come to the realization that all of these things came together by chance. We talked about, in the first question, how when we’re young and we see this sense of invincibility with our youth. But as a body, as a person, – and this doesn’t happen pretty much chronologically with years, this happens pretty much with experience – but as you begin to get older and older, I think the mortality part Continue reading

“Spirituality, just like love, is the human base station” – Doug “Ten” Rose

Screen Shot 2013-05-08 at 9.18.30 PMThe Only Love Project’s Bill Murphy (BM) conducted this interview with Doug Ten Rose (DTR) via Skype on April 24, 2013. Many thanks to Mr. Rose for his time, wisdom, and delightful sense of humor.

BM: Briefly tell us your background. What would you like others to know about you?

DTR: I was born a poor black child. Oh no, wait. That’s Steve Martin. That’s not me. [laughs] It’s not about me, you know, it’s about the project, and there’s a much bigger picture. But I guess within the context of this, we’re going to have to go into it a little bit. It’s pretty much all described in the Fearless Puppy book [Fearless Puppy On American Road]. Or at least the first 40 or 50 years are. I was born in Brooklyn, New York, grew up in the Coney Island area, and started selling drugs at an early age. Decided when I was in my mid-teens that this was not going to go very far. [laughs]. There was all kinds of stuff to deal with. Besides the obvious, which is that the drugs can kill you, you’ve got the ripoffs, and especially in a big city like New York, you’ve got the mafia wanting to deal on the same corner, so there’s only a short time you can be there, and you have to dodge them. Then of course there are the legal complications and the police. And then of course you’re acting like a jackass because you’re whacked out all the time.

Screen Shot 2013-04-24 at 1.09.41 PMSo anyways, the thing to do it seemed was to get outta there pretty quick, and so I did. Started hitchhiking and it worked out so well that I just kept going. Now of course, part of what’s responsible for that was that era in history. Because in the mid to late ‘60s, every Volkswagon van was a guaranteed ride, people would stop and pick you up, it was a rollin’ party. Since things have changed so much over the past 40 years, I don’t think anybody could do that kind of lifestyle now. It would be intensely more difficult to do. People just aren’t as trusting, they’re not as friendly in a lot of ways, and so it probably wouldn’t work as well now. But at the time we lived more for the love and happiness, and the book Fearless Puppy is about that time.

All the profits from book sales are going to fund Continue reading